Not so long ago, my beloved cousin got hitched to this very beautiful lady. We were all surprised, not to speak ill of anyone but my cousin wasn’t that much of an eligible bachelor you know. He is not so good looking, isn’t wise with money and he stammers… a lot. I wondered what this gorgeous lady loved about him but again love is in the eyes of the beholder and we were just thankful that we finally got a sister in law as we were almost giving up.
Just a few days into the relationship my cousin begged his folks to go pay a retainer fee for the lady as he was worried she could wake up from her hypnosis and leave. So we went, paid this ridiculous amount as bride price (we had to auction off everything, including our eyelashes, just to meet the amount). A simple wedding followed afterwards, with the most terrible kiss I have ever seen…Guy went teeth first for the kiss.. Yikes!
7 months into the marriage, my cousin calls me to tell me they just had a bouncing baby boy. Quick calculations in my head don’t add up. I had to go see to believe. When I got to the hospital a few of my inlaws were already there. They stood in two’s, speaking in hush tones. I went in, saw the baby and i knew why. Baby looked like he was straight from Somali. Just add some stained teeth and he’d be like “look at me, I’m the captain now”. (you might need to watch Captain Philip to get this)
I called my inlaws to a side bar and raised my concerns. They all feigned surprise and told me all newborn babies look alike and I shouldn’t draw a conclusion just yet. I agreed though my gut feeling told me otherwise. One month, Two months… Nine months… Still no change. Family members were furious but my cousin put his foot down,declaring the baby his and case closed. I don’t know what kind of lies the lady is feeding the guy to make him this dumb,as much as he wasn’t smart enough to begin with.
Our inlaws, we are regrouping and soon we’ll be coming for our refund. Be prepared.